4 times around

4 times around what you ask? 4 times around her neck...the umbilical cord...she ALMOST DIED...surely you've heard by now about this miracle. If you haven't, it's only because you haven't been within a few miles of Micki on her birthday (or the week leading up to it).

This baby is only in half as much peril as Micki was 33 years ago today.

I only learned about all this business 13 years ago (moments into our first date), which is crazy because I've been following medical miracles since I was a youngster and it was surely in one of my doctor books (probably with a picture of Micki and her mom surrounded by astounded clinicians marveling at the unlikely survival of this plucky infant). Luckily for all of us she didn't develop tracheal Williamsburg disease.

figure 1

I've prepared a graph to help you understand what all this means. Column 1 represents the percent chance you'll hear this story at some point if you come in contact with Micki at any time between the months of October and January. Column 2 is the chance Micki won't embellish the story, adding dramatic, but sketchy details about just how touch and go the whole situation was (it may also represent the percentage of her frontal lobe irreversibly altered by the lack of oxygen [most likely the part of the brain that prevents most people from wanting to talk to complete strangers at the airport or giving almonds to homeless people in Sacramento]). Column 3 represents the number of times Micki reminded me that I hadn't told her that she was a miracle baby this year alone. And column 4 represents the number of birthdays I hope she has ahead of her. I wanted to multiply column 4 with the number of predicted future tellings of this story by Micki, but that would necessitate the use of a logarithmic scale and complex exponents, which is beyond the scope of this post. Needless to say, this event was monumental in the life of my wife and she will not rest until you are as moved by it as she clearly is. So when she starts telling the story, I recommend you interrupt her with, "Oh wait, I've heard about this...I can't believe I will be hearing it in person...let me sit down (sit down)...okay, I'm now emotionally ready for the tidal wave of emotional bliss I've anticipated will buffet my soul as your story pours forth upon me." Then stare with fascinated reverence as she recounts the event. If you aren't immediately caught up in rapture, you'll at least know you've witnessed history in the making (possibly the fifth sign of the apocalypse).

And if you're lucky she won't forget she told you and that will be the end of it.

Happy birthday Mic!